Chip Zdarsky's Secret Online Journal

Extremely Bad Advice: Ex Friends

Fri, 16 May 2008 15:34:11 GMT

I've been criticized for this one. Not because of the AMPLE AMOUNTS OF BLOOD in the illustration, but because it appears to be good advice. I like to think that all of my columns are chock-full of good advice and that the "man" had to give this the name "Extremely Bad Advice" because I am too real, and therefore too susceptible to litigation.

Anyhoo, as always, send me your problems and I will give you the best advice that I can muster. That's right: Muster!

Love,
Chip!

REJECTED ICON FOR HILLARY CAMPAIGN DEATHWATCH

Thu, 08 May 2008 21:20:04 GMT

Their loss.

Love,
Chip!

Oh! Also! Napkins!

Thu, 08 May 2008 18:14:48 GMT

I was so busy updating about beards, I forgot about this strange Post project.
They gave me a notebook made of napkins and I had to fill them all for a spread, which was neat. I filled it in one morning so the results weren't all grand, but here are a few that are suitable for YOUR EYES.

Love,
Chip!

Extremely Bad Advice & an Open Letter to John Krasinski

Thu, 08 May 2008 17:04:16 GMT

LOL! It's Bad Advice!

In response to last week's column, I called around trying to get in touch with John Frasinski, aka "Jim" from The Office. I made my way through several agencies until I was stopped by his PR rep who said his schedule was too busy to accommodate me. Whatever. I mailed the letter anyway.

As always, send me your problems. I love your problems.

And I love you.

Behind My Scenes

Mon, 05 May 2008 15:32:46 GMT

Free Comic Book Day was lovely. I drew a Fat Batman and also a Garfield Batman so, yeah, it was a good time, duh.

I know sometimes people want to see "behind the curtain" at the "troll magic" that artists wield when making "art." So, with that in mind, here is my layout for the Iron Man spread.

MAGICAL.

In other news, Uncle Melvin is blogging again with his good friends. Charlie Fergus especially is a young spirit ready to rock your world.

Send questions in and I will answer them, Bad Advice style!

IRON MAN (& advice)

Fri, 02 May 2008 21:25:34 GMT

HOLY POOP. I'm excited to see this Iron Man movie. So excited, I made a double page spread about Iron Man in today's National Post. Please check it out and spread the link around!
Yay Iron Man!

Also, of course, some Bad Advice:

Questions, please!

Love,
Chip!

My Toronto Is...

Mon, 28 Apr 2008 17:09:15 GMT

In celebration of the finalists for the My Toronto Is campaign, the Post asked me to do some posters of my own. Keep in mind the TTC one was done before the walkout...

Good times! Also, AS ALWAYS, questions you have that need answering in Bad Advice form can be emailed here!

Love,
Chip!

Extremely Bad Advice About Big Butts

Thu, 24 Apr 2008 14:08:59 GMT

This week I loudly proclaim my love of big butts, thus securing my reputation as "creepy office guy" at the Post. I just really, really like butts. Big 'uns.

The question bucket is getting low, so if anyone out there needs burning questions answered with tact and finesse and fire, drop me a line!

Love,
Chip!

Oodles of Doodles, Etc. and the TTC strike

Fri, 18 Apr 2008 14:35:51 GMT

Transit strike!

If this happens then I'm being assigned to the cartooning transit-strike beat, where I wander the city with my faithful lawyer/reporter/sidekick Zosia and we cover the SITUATION. We did this before with the Grey Cup and it was the kind of week where I racked up enough overtime to take a full week off, which is crazy and awesome at the same time. So, if my Toronto peeps(people) have any suggestions(do my work for me) I'd appreciate them!

I never do commissions. It makes me feel dirty for some reason. It's just too personal doing work for one person. I like faceless giant corporations (ALWAYS HAVE, ALWAYS WILL). Anyhoo, I couldn't turn this one down as it was form a guy who is getting artists to re-create all the covers from the comic series PREACHER. I got to pick one fo my favourites, issue three, and do my own take on it.

So yeah, I never do commissions unless they're really fucking weird for a man with a really fucking weird grand scheme.

It was kind of a weird Zen experiment. I didn't really pencil it too much, just had fun with ink.

Here's my ethical question! I feel weird recreating another artist's work, even if I am doing my own, uh thing with it. I emailed Glenn Fabry to see what he feels would be appropriate compensation for such a project. I figure, like, 25% of the commission fee or something. What do you guys think? I've never heard of anyone doing this before, so I have no idea!

ALSO!

I did this image for this weekend's Toronto section in the Post. It's the house I live in and it's for a page about new ways to recycle. My jokes 'n' chuckles are in the final version this weekend! Buy them all!

ALSO!

I did an interview with a Celine Dion impersonator and it was FUCKING HARD. Transcribing an hour of chatting takes much longer than the hour in which you chatted. Also, I had to write, draw, letter and colour the two pages within one day which yielded some reeeeal sloppy results. Fuck! Cock! Fuck! Even still, I hope to do more of these.

That's all. I hope you all are having a wonderful day.

Love,
Chip

Extremely Bad Advice: Cheat Codes

Thu, 17 Apr 2008 12:30:22 GMT

Oh, this is a Very Special Extremely Bad Advice column. With a SURPRISE CAMEO.
MUST BE SEEN TO BE BELIEVED.

As always, questions questions questions.

And thanks to everyone that wrote in last week with their poop stories. I really enjoy poop stories.

Love,
Chip!

Dreamy

Wed, 16 Apr 2008 14:35:44 GMT

This was in the paper today, or I should say that a version where they cut it in close on the characters' heads was in the paper today. I swore quite loudly in the newsroom, but no one was here yet because I came in early for my "scream time."

Anyhoo, here's the full version! It was for an article about the websites I Dream of Barack and I Dream of Hillary.

C'est La Vie!
Love,
Le Chip.

plato, poo-poo, etc.

Thu, 10 Apr 2008 13:47:49 GMT

I did illustrations for a series last week on love and beauty which didn't turn out shit!

Also, this week's Extremely Bad Advice is Very Special as it involves me and poo:

As always, send me your questions! I love helping you so very much.

Love,
Chip!

Advice and Love

Thu, 03 Apr 2008 15:35:23 GMT

Another week, more advice. This one goes out to my favourite Nic-O-Teen!

Questions? Queries? Phone numbers?

Love,
Chip

Extremely Bad Advice: Finally...

Fri, 28 Mar 2008 20:46:29 GMT

...I get paid to draw Batman!

As always: TO ME, MY QUESTIONS!

Extremely Bad Advice: Photo Finished

Thu, 20 Mar 2008 16:55:18 GMT

This week I actually call people and do research, FOR REAL.

Questions? Complaints? 1-800-EMA-ILME.

Love,
Chip!

A Toronto Transit Miracle

Fri, 14 Mar 2008 15:49:47 GMT

God, I hate winter.

Love.
Chip.

Hey, you.

Thu, 13 Mar 2008 18:01:41 GMT

I have advice for you.

Love,
Chip!

p.s: As always, questions are quite welcome! I'm really helpful.

I do not approve of the headline.

Wed, 12 Mar 2008 15:48:44 GMT

In today's National Post:

My defence of procrastination.

Love,
Chip!

Extremely Bad Advice: Precious, Precious Memories

Thu, 06 Mar 2008 20:02:50 GMT

Advice is my life. Helping people is my life.
You are my life.

Send me questions and problems, please.

Love,
Chip

good times.

Sat, 01 Mar 2008 02:41:46 GMT

The National Post just posted these on YouTube, which would be exciting if my head wasn't SO FAT.

So very, very fat.

Advice and Sexy

Thu, 28 Feb 2008 17:03:41 GMT

An Extremely Bad Advice about all those WHORES who make me WANT THEM.

Also, a new entry for our SEXIEST TORONTONIAN contest!

I'm not going to lie to you, our prospective winners pool isn't looking too good. So please, if you know anyone with sexual charms or have a crush on a Toronto celebrity, please email our editor! It's a grand prize of being on a Harlequin cover! Who wouldn't want that?

In other news, I'm working on many things. The next few weeks are going to be a roller-coaster of emotions and crying.

Love,
Chip!

I Pity All Of You

Thu, 21 Feb 2008 20:16:02 GMT

Not just ONE, but TWO Extremely Bad Advice columns!

The best diets in the WORLD:

And the cure for your wintertime blues!

Also, some fun gold-themed illustrations for Canadian Business magazine!

(more at my Flickr site)

Also, the Sexiest Torontonian contest is still going! Please swing by and nominate someone! It's fun! FUN.

I love you all.

-chip!

NYC!

Thu, 14 Feb 2008 15:21:32 GMT

Hiya!

NEW YORK PEEPS: I'm heading to the city today for a few days. If there's anything interesting/fun that I should see/do/kiss, let me know by eeeemail! chipz at rogers com!

Love,
Chip!

The Sexiest Torontonian.

Tue, 12 Feb 2008 16:05:22 GMT

Oh, it's that time of year again! Time for the National Post's SEXIEST TORONTONIAN CONTEST!

As you can see, the lovely folks at Harlequin are sponsoring the contest and were kind enough to mock up our promo image. I've never been happier. So yeah, check out the contest rules and my romantic prose and please nominate someone!

And to my Toronto peeps, spread it around! I want hot people and I want them now. The winners get to appear on a Harlequin cover FOR REAL. And that's just wonderful.

Also, I blasted through so many questions on the weekend that I'm in need of more problems to be sorted out in my Extremely Bad Advice column! Email me, please!

Love,
Chip!

Love & Sex & Me

Sun, 10 Feb 2008 02:11:52 GMT

Okay, so I've got a lot of stuff going on...

FIRST UP!

I am a lovely lady. Chris Butcher is a lovely man.

Click here for the life-changing story:

ALSO!

A Very Special Extremely Bad Advice Column!!

Oh, but wait! There's more!
With the help of our lovely and talented intern, Murat Yukselir, here's some dos and don'ts of the bachelor bedroom!

And last, but most certainly least, a video of me talking about love & sex.

This is what's new with me. I am very tired and confused about my sexuality and apologize for missing any events that have been scheduled while I've been "working" on all of this.

If you can, spread the stuff of mine around that you like. I like that.

And please, as always, email me your hot questions here.

God bless.

Love,
Truly,
Chip!